Friday, September 28, 2007

If This Chimp Is A Person Then Who Is The Monkey's Uncle?

If an Austrian chimp gets legally declared to be a person consider the ramifications.

Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories worries that the shelter caring for the chimp might close, and has been pressing to get "Matthew Hiasl Pan" declared a "person" so a guardian can be appointed to look out for his interests and provide him with a home. So far, the organization has not been able to represent the interests of this chimp because the Viennese provincial judge in the city of Wiener Neustadt dismissed the case earlier this week, and ruled that the AAAF had no legal standing to argue on the chimp's behalf.

AAAF contends that only personhood will give Pan the basic rights he needs to ensure that he isn't sold to someone outside of Austria, where he's now protected by strict animal cruelty laws.
The Association Against Animal Factories points out that it's not trying to get Pan declared a human, but rather a person, which would give him some kind of legal status.

Otherwise, he is legally a thing. And with the genetic makeup of chimpanzees and humans so strikingly similar, it contends, that just can't be.
Ok - and with this case, plus God being sued in court I am seriously questioning the collective sanity of mankind, or at the very least the court systems that we have established.

I don't get why AAAF just doesn't buy the chimp and place it in protective care. I mean, after all they are probably spending enough in court and legal costs to equal the amount needed for his care anyway. On the other hand, I know plenty of persons who would qualify as being chimps.

You know what? You just can't make this stuff up.