Thursday, February 9, 2012

Reporting Suspicious Activity - The New Salem Witch Hunt

The FBI has put out a series of flyers to let you know how you can spot an insurgent/terrorist/extremist.

It's their handy dandy lists that citizens can refer to in case one needs help deciding whether to report their neighbor who seems to be buying an awful lot of groceries lately.

The "See Something/Say Something" campaign (AKA Communities Against Terrorism) has gone into Moronic Overdrive.

These flyers are really ridiculous....

One flyer alerts Internet Cafe owners to be on the look out for, and report, customers that always pay for their coffee with cash, as they could be terrorists! Really???? Don't most people pay with cash?

Another flyer for Owners of Dive/Boat Shops tells them that they should look out for people interested in becoming certified scuba divers or looking for accelerated diving courses, as they could be terrorists! Nah... they couldn't just be folks who are going on a vacation soon and need some quick instruction!

And don't even consider acting nervously or impatiently - this is a dead giveaway that you are a terrorist. So skip that extra cup of coffee and take a few chill pills.

The Shopping Mall flyer informs us that people wearing coats in warm weather are terrorists.. ummm.... that would include most old people in Florida, or Orthodox Jews.... and if you have missing limbs or fingers then you are definitely suspicious! (eyeroll)

If you go to a hobby shop - beware of persons interested in remote controlled aircraft... or exhibiting unusual interest or specific interest in rocket motors or igniters... so it looks like geeky teenage boys are to be reported for suspicious activity. Additionally, if you Possess little knowledge of the activity for which your purchase is intended then you are definitely a terrorist... because people should not try to learn anything or buy new and interesting items.

Don't even think of making purchases in a beauty supply store/drug store if you do not work at or own a salon. So, someone who buys empty jars and bottles for personal use ... well they are definitely suspicious.

And if you go to a Military Surplus store - don't even think of asking for MRE's (Meals Ready To Eat) or purchasing flashlights because you might be suspected to be a terrorist!

So folks - read each flyer carefully.
Look at what activities are now considered "suspicious"
and remember... this was compiled with the use of your tax dollars.